:: 010110 ::

its new year today.

diz year ak hny d bilik alone wit my lappy..

suppose ak ptt ke kuantan sbb ade game netball 3 on 3..

tp ade mslh mnimpa ak..

&& ak mengalami mslh jiwa yg sgt2 kritikal..

bdan ak pnas,kepala ak berat..

mmg ak btol2 lemah..

only God knows wut happens to me..

taun 2009~

taun yg sgt2 byk bg pengalaman kt ak..

smpai la penghujung 2009 pon ak mngalami dugaan yg sgt2 trauma..

sume2 dugaan tu ekceli mematangkan ak..

wpon rmai yg x bape stju dgn stetmen ak matang..

family ak pon still anggap ak bdk kecik, plus, x mtg..

encik hati ak pon ckp ak x mtg..bdk2!huhu~

tp i wnt to stick wit that stetmen, im matured now~ =)

taun 2010~

moga ak dpt limpahan kurnia & berkat dr Tuhan..

blessing from You is needed in life..

azam baru??

biar la ak je thu..no need to jot down here =p

hopefully,diz year better dr 2009..

amin.

XOXO,
syakirah o_0

:: alhamdulillah ::

thank God..ak n Amin da ok..

ak da xnk da bwt2 mnde2 pelik..

ak btol2 nk jd kekaseh ati Amin Abidin yg perfect..

insya Allah..may God bless us..

ak nk jlnkn tggungjwb ak as his gurl..

not hurt him anymore..

m8 him happy owez..

i wnt 2 b his side whenever he needs me..

bcome an angel to him..

a guardian...

i cud change myself jz 4 him only..

b his nurse when he sicks..

b his driver when he's tired..

b his councellor when he want advices..

n much more!!

today,i cried a lot..

thats mean i really2 need him..

im so scared im losing him..

ayg..b sgt2 cinta kamu!! <3

p/s: mnyampah ke?sukati ak la..ini blog ak.. =)

XOXO,
syakirah o_0

at last..sy mengalah..

sy x than..sy perlukn dia..

sy tego dia kt facebook..

anta msg kt dia..

tp dia ignorekn sy..

huu~ T_T

XOXO,
syakirah o_0

membasuh all the time today..

basuh baju..basuh beg..basuh kasut..

sy suke mmbasuh ari nih..

sy suke mmberus sume kotoran tu..

rendam dlm softlan..

perah kuat2..

pstu jemur..ade matahari ari nih =)

bwt sy x pk kamu!!!

tp skang sy x than!!!!

sy rindu dia...

ya Allah..be strong..

XOXO,
syakirah o_0

im so sad.really sad.

i did it again.again & again..

how cud i did it to him?

how bad i am..

i didnt want to do dat..

but i hv to..

ak terpksa bwt sume nih..

ak nk away dr dia..

ak nk cari diri ak yg da lame ilang..

mne syakirah yg dulu

yg salu mmbanggakn mak ayh..

mnggembirakan mak ayah..

skang ak da lain..

ak da bwt mcm2 mnde bwt amin jd bengang..

tp nih tuk smntara..

ak da btaw kt dia yg kite jumpe smggu skali..

mnde2 sume nih plan ak..

ak nk away from him for a while..

ak nk perbetulkn ape yg x btol..

ak nk bukti kt dia yg syakirah nih sbnrnye hebat jgk..

ak x snggup da.ak sgt2 rndah diri bile dgn dia..

ak hepi sgt2 bersame dgn dia..tp kdg2 prsaan rndah diri ttp ade dlm ati ak..

ak malu tuk bersama dgn dia..

sgt2 malu.ak rase x layak jd kekaseh Amin..

tp ak syg Amin sgt2 & i shud do sumting..

to m8 him proud to own me..

i want he feel glad to hv me..

now,im useless..but i want to change it bcoz i dun want to lose him.

i do love him..i need him very much..

how shame he is to hv a gurl like me..

althought he nvr told me..but i noe inside his heart,there's a lot of things unpleasant.

ak sgt2 syg dia sbb tu ak trpksa bwt cmni..

sblum2 nih after i m8 he hurts,ak pujuk dia balek.

sbb ak x snggup tgk dia terluka..

sape sggup tgk org yg dia sgt2 syg & cinta terluka..

siyesli,im not!!tp kali nih ak kene keras ati..

oh God..gv me a strength..

one day..insya Allah,evrything gonna change..

syakirah will change but the love for him never change.

i still love u syg..much2 love.

dear readers..

pray for my happiness && blessing..

XOXO,
syakirah o_0

:: AVATAR ::

td ke ecmall bersame Amin tgk cite AVATAR..

giler superb best cite nih..

ak rated kn muvee nih 4 stars..

omputey bwt cite mmg hebat..

klu la cite2 melayu bwt cmtu mmg best..

teknologi mmg sgt cnggih..

cite nih psl dia bwt avatar tp d kontrol oleh mind manusia..

klon avatar tu akn msuk explore dlm dunia avatar yg real..

pstu seorg name Jake Sully nih sesat.stranded kt sane.

pstu dia brlakon knonnye dia dtg nk blaja cara idop org asli avatar nih..

so bergelumang la dia ngan org2 asli avatar nih..

cmtu ah lebey kurg cite dia..

korg tgk sndiri la.huhu~

ak bengang ngan mamat dok sbela ak dlm wayang td..

dia asek condemn jek cite Avatar tu..

ak yg rse cite tu best.ade plak dgr2 bunyi dok mngutuk.

gram lak rase.tp xdek la nk sound2 dia.snyap je la.haha~

awek dia ade ckp,cntik nye~(merujuk kpd scenery lam cite tu)

pstu dia bley jwb,alaa..komputer je sume tu.bknnye cntik sgt pon~~

lg 1,time kuar binatang2 pelik.dia ckp,pelik2 jek binatang lam cite nih,tah pape jek..

gramnye!!xtaw nk ckp pe..rse nk bisik kt Amin tp takot dia trdgr lak ngumpat sal dia.

ade jgk org mcm dia tu.cite tu hebat ok tp bley plak ktuk2 cmtu.huh! =(

XOXO,
syakirah o_0

:: new ::

.new semester.

.new spirit.

.ful of determination.

.but same person still.

=)

XOXO,
syakirah o_0

:: my day =) ::

19th december 2009

its my birthday! =)

alhamdulillah..ak bersyukur dpt bernafas lg slama 20tahun..

dpt mnikmati lg nikmat2 Tuhan..dgn sgala limpah kurniaanNya..

angka 20 bkn la angka tua tp angka tuk ke arah kedewasaan..

hopefully..ak brtmbh2 jd matang..

mmpu mngharungi idup d dunia ini yg sgt2 mncabar..

idop dgn penoh keceriaan && kebahagiaan bersama org2 sekeliling..

amin..

XOXO,
syakirah o_0

:: craps ::

besok ak akn bergerak ke UDM..

ade lg 1 tournament tuk netball UMP..

siyesli i cant wait to finish all these things..

oh God..i miss my home much..

lately..ak sgt2 serabut..mcm2 mslh melanda..

kdg2 bwt ak jd moody..

tah la.ak pon xtaw da nk ckp pe..

smpai ak decide tuk away dr my boy..how fool i am..

ikotkn ak nk hols yg lame.yg sgt2 lame.yg blh ak tng lame2.

i need rest..calmness..yes.i really2 need it..

bile ak de probs ak akn cari my man..tmpat mngadu ak..

tp kdg2 smpai bley gado..bknnye gado besar pon..

ak pkir jgk,ade mnde yg ak btol.somehow ade gak mnde ak yg x btol..

tp ak akn bralah wlau mcm mne pon..ak rse tu slh 1 mnde terbaek kot..

mengalah~x rugi pape.jz let it be wut's in ur heart & try to accept wutever words from him..

dont hold to anger,hurt & pain.they steal ur energy & keep u from ur love..

keep that words guys..

i love amin so much =)

btw..doakan team netball mng && for me oso!

doakan ak dpt ktenangan & happiness & keberkatan..amin~

XOXO,
syakirah o_0

:: here i come ::

ari nih 10hb.dats mean today i'll go to UNIMAP..

masa sgt cpat berlalu..pantas.

everyday pkul 9 sume kene g gym..b4 tu br8fast dulu.

abes pkul 12.tgu fud smpai then mkn.

ptg dtg pkul 5 till 7 training kt court.then mkn tuk dinner lak.

itu la rutin harian since 2hb yg lalu.

3 days ago, ak & team netball ke kuantan..

alasan nk cari pkaian tuk dinner d unimap nt.besela,pompuan.

tup2 dinner tu kene pkai pkaian kontigen sje.pdn muke! =D

pstu kitorg decide tuk mncari suar same tuk game nt sbb tight maroon blom smpai lg.

1stly kitorg pegi EC Mall.kt sane x byk pkaian tuk sport.xnk la cari kt butik2 or brand2 sport.

bajet kitorg sket je kot.

abes pusing2 decide pegi KP.cari2 jmpe la yg berkenan tp rse harga x affordable la plk.

so decide g usha2 dlu kt teruntum.sbb de beberapa org ckp kt Teruntum kite bley bargain klu bli byk.klu kt tmpat2 mcm KP n EC Mall harga da fix da.

pegi sane cari2 jumpe la 1 suar tu brand Molten.smart gak.tp harga x bley bla plk.

bek pegi KP.lg murah.then patah balik ke KP.

cari2 punye la ssh.saiz xde.stok x ckup la.da pnat da dok ulang alik ke fitting room.

last2 kitorg decide x kesah la ape2 suar pon jnji itam.msg2 cari sndiri.

ak mcm mak2 yg nk cari baju ank2.haha.

tgk ok ke x.cari saiz la.tgk harga.

bile sume da jmpe suar msg2 tgk2 suar ak x tercari lg.manger pon kene same jgk taw.huhu~

mmg the store kt KP tu riuh rendah sore kitorg jek.dduk2 kt bwh tu.bersepah2 muke kitorg jek.

gile pnat dowh..sblum tu ak de bli sket brgn dalaman.ops!ngee ;]

lps tu perot da lapa g mamam kt McDonald kt TC..

lepak2 kt situ.bergelak tawa.da lame giler x gelak smpai serak sore ak.

adeyh.mcm2 hal..

mlm nt pkul 10 kitorg akn bergrak ke Perlis..

pray for us to have a save long journey..

&& will win in evry game. =)

UNIMAP~here i come =)

XOXO,
syakirah o_0

:: ♥♥♥ ::

wut im gonna tell is bout my feeling..

i dunno what i feel rite now..

pretending or trying to accept it??wholy confused..

maybe im a pretender which means i admit evrythng is okay and dunt mind bout that such thing..

but inside my heart is really damn hurt..yes,definitely!

or maybe im trying to be a mature gurl who can think wisely and positively..

trying to accept wutever reasons.yes,im doing dat.

aiyokk...syakirah!which one lorhh??

nk nanges plk rase.T.T kuat nanges ah syakirah nih.jiwe sensetip.huu~

btw,i wanna wish to my ayg,

" happy 3rd month of anniversary..thx God i found u.i love u so much "

♥♥♥

p/s: ♥♥♥ ini simbol chenta 3 bulan.hee =)

XOXO,
syakirah o_0

:: crapping ::

ari nih smpai jgk ak kt ump..

suppose balek 30hb lg tp ak stranded kt kmaman uma abg ak..

melangut la ak kt uma tu.tgk tv + tdo + mkn..bosan sungguh..

ak balek ump d sbbkn ak d tugaskn tuk jd manager netball tuk g unimap & udm nt.bkn player okeh.huhu~

wpon dgr mcm stakat mnger jek tp ak rse byk kot keje.siyes dowh..

tp mybe some players anggp manger tu x ptg.

bg ak,once u get in my shoes,u noe the important of the mnger.

so,ari nih ak dtg kire ak ready tuk responsible..

and im ready to sacrifice in every matter..

adeyhh..poyo kn.hee~

wpon ak bkn la manger yg terbaek but ill try to do my best.insyAllah =)

nih nk cite psl ak lak..

kt lengan ak de lebam.area2 dkt siku.ade la lam 2cm pjg kot.

org tua2 ckp kene gigit polong.funny isn it?huhu~

ak pon xsure.mybe tbuh ak pnat,lemah bdan.dats y la ade lebam tu..

org2 dulu cane ek ley trpikir polong yg gigit?got confused there. =/

tu je ak nk bebel mlm nih..

gud nite to all my readers..

hv a sweet of dream =)

XOXO,
syakirah o_0

:: engagement ::

pada 29hb yg lps, schoolmates ak bertunang..

aizuddin & adibah..bercinta since dr form 4 till now..

da lebey kurg 5 taun.lame tu..huhu~

dorg berjaya mngtransformkn cinta monyet kpd cinta sjati.

tingat lak ak dolu2 time aizudin nk ngurat2 dib..haha~

pstu ade krisis lak antara kami ber3.wee~ ;]

krisis bdk2 btol.syakirah x matured!gile ngux.hee~

ape krisis tu?biar ah rhsia.siyes klaka lak ak rse.tp ak kecik ati

weyh!haha~

mnde da lps da..skang da baek2 da.

past is past.let it be.syakirah bdk baek =)

time majlis dorg bertunang,ak x dpt pegi awl2.ade ah prblem sket..

ekceli mmg xnk pegi da,tp mak ckp pegi jela. ape mak ckp kene iko

t.nt drhaka ;]

smpai2 ak trus mkn.jmpe la bbrpa org schoolmate ak..

sume da brubah da especeli lelaki.totally different.

nmpk mcm org2 tua da compare zman skola..

anyway,congrates to both of my frens aizuddin && adibah =)

ak edit tuk both of them wpon mereka x bca blog ak. =)

nur adibah binti din =)

kami da berbaek! =D

- ak + dib + enul + faten -

parents dib & zudin.sbela kiri skali adlh cg kasman =)

cg geo ak time f3 memerangkap cg pkhem juge

p/s: ak xmo tunang.nk kawen trus. =)

XOXO,
syakirah o_0